Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
emotional literacies
3 Reasons to Participate in the 40-Day Practice on Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility
Starting on November 22nd and running for the final 40 days of 2019, I’m offering the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility.” Every time I offer this practice (this will be my third and second online), I get a lot of questions, including what this work involves, why it asks for a commitment of 40 days, and why it focuses on emotions. Though I hope the course description answers many of these questions—and I’m happy to answer ... Read more ...
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
Responding to White Supremacist Terror, This Time in El Paso
I woke this morning in Ireland to news of the El Paso shooting: the latest act of white supremacist terror in the United States. My body was already aching (today’s a rest day after some seriously long walks), but the news ramped up the ache and lodged itself in my chest. I recognized the familiar heartache that comes with shootings and acts of violence, particularly against Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)—in this case, against Latinx folks in Texas. Along ... Read more ...
Toward Public Outcry: Why I’ll Keep Repeating #AbolishICE and #CloseTheCamps
Outcry: a strong expression of public anger and disapproval This week I dreamed about being detained when traveling, taken aside in an airport and made to wait and wait and wait … It became clear that I was being monitored and considered dangerous and essentially arrested. What started in the airport turned into a full detention / internment / concentration camp experience. The dream’s details are sketchy, but I remember feeling powerless. I couldn’t call for help. I ... Read more ...
Lessons from a Poinsettia: Growing Resilience in 40 Days and Beyond
This poinsettia is amazing me—still blooming in these last days of February and reminding me that resilience (emotional elasticity, stamina, and strength) is something we don't often recognize until it’s already present and in place. When I googled how long poinsettias bloom, I was (and wasn’t) surprised to see that 40 days are a common period. The information not only confirms this poinsettia’s resilience (blooming for 3+ months), but it also feels like the ... Read more ...
Learning from and Healing Scars, Both Personal and Collective
Over the past year, my body has experienced a few physical injuries, including a concussion from falling last January and a cut from stepping on a broken bowl back in August. The fall left both knees badly scraped and bruised so that scars are still visible on the surface. The puncture in my foot has involved months of getting ceramic out—piece by piece—and an MRI now confirms that “only scar tissue remains.” That scar tissue isn’t visible like the scars on my knees, ... Read more ...
Living in Shutdown USA
In recent weeks, friends have been asking about my experience with the government shutdown. I’m feeling and experiencing a lot, living in DC, or “America’s lightning rod” (thanks to Katharine Weinmann for this language from a recent comment). Certainly, the city feels on edge and reminds me of the urgent need for resistance, for visioning, and for choosing alternative paths, if we are ever to stop the perpetuation of injustice. I look to everyday life for direction, ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Parenting Myself 101
Over the past few months, I’ve been learning more about how to care for myself—a sort of self-care that I’m calling “parenting myself 101.” After a career change, cross-county move, and intense internal work “inside the chrysalis,” I’ve recognized the need to put good self-parenting into place. The language of “parenting” has been helpful for me to break from “self-care” focused on relaxation as an escape from everyday life. Rather than experiencing self-care as ... Read more ...
