Though the new year marks a time for review and renewal, it’s often a few weeks into the year before I’m ready to set new goals via the contemplative practice of spell-casting. It’s as though I have to get out of the turbulent holiday season and new year energy before I’m ready to engage the magic of habit formation. This year (like the past couple) I’m returning to the practice of writing spells (like mantras, poems, or intentions) that I’ve learned through adrienne ... Read more ...
resistance
When Speaking Up at the Holidays Means “Complaining” and Being the Killjoy
Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
Responding to Microaggressions
How do we respond to microaggressions, or those everyday and commonplace actions that convey bias, invalidate people, and reinforce structural oppression? We know from research and personal accounts that microaggressions occur all-too-frequently across contexts—workplaces, family gatherings, and community settings. From hurtful words to dismissive gestures, microaggressions do more than communicate harm. They have wide-reaching impact, for they deny access, constrain ... Read more ...
Responding to White Supremacist Terror, This Time in El Paso
I woke this morning in Ireland to news of the El Paso shooting: the latest act of white supremacist terror in the United States. My body was already aching (today’s a rest day after some seriously long walks), but the news ramped up the ache and lodged itself in my chest. I recognized the familiar heartache that comes with shootings and acts of violence, particularly against Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)—in this case, against Latinx folks in Texas. Along ... Read more ...
Toward Public Outcry: Why I’ll Keep Repeating #AbolishICE and #CloseTheCamps
Outcry: a strong expression of public anger and disapproval This week I dreamed about being detained when traveling, taken aside in an airport and made to wait and wait and wait … It became clear that I was being monitored and considered dangerous and essentially arrested. What started in the airport turned into a full detention / internment / concentration camp experience. The dream’s details are sketchy, but I remember feeling powerless. I couldn’t call for help. I ... Read more ...
Responding to Injustice: Why Settling the Nervous System and Slowing Response Times Matter
Recently, I’ve had several moments of witnessing first-hand the links between settling the body (that is, settling the nervous system) and showing up more mindfully, more open, and more like the “best self” that’s needed when striving for social and racial justice. In contrast, moments when my nervous system is “keyed up” (from exhaustion, from unresolved tension, from disappointment, and more), I find myself having knee-jerk reactions and being short with ... Read more ...
Living in Shutdown USA
In recent weeks, friends have been asking about my experience with the government shutdown. I’m feeling and experiencing a lot, living in DC, or “America’s lightning rod” (thanks to Katharine Weinmann for this language from a recent comment). Certainly, the city feels on edge and reminds me of the urgent need for resistance, for visioning, and for choosing alternative paths, if we are ever to stop the perpetuation of injustice. I look to everyday life for direction, ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Planning a Career Change in 3 Stages
Today my third installment of “Outside Higher Ed,” titled "Planning to Leave?" is now available in Inside Higher Ed: This piece shares my process of planning a career change in three stages: beginning to plan while feeling uncertain getting serious about planning putting plans into action I share stories of re-orientating myself through counseling, allowing myself time to grieve, and experiencing a concussion as the physical manifestation of the mental ... Read more ...
My Heart Hurts on Election Day
Election day morning: I join a line that snakes around my new polling place. Like others, I pull my raincoat tighter against the cold and damp morning air, as kids squirm, jump, and cry around us. After 40+ minutes and only few feet of movement, I step out of line, knowing that if I stay, I’ll miss a hard-to-reschedule doctor’s appointment. I feel frustrated, disappointed, and angry. Election day evening: I re-join the line and, again, wait outdoors in the rain. ... Read more ...