Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
white fragility
3 Reasons to Participate in the 40-Day Practice on Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility
Starting on November 22nd and running for the final 40 days of 2019, I’m offering the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility.” Every time I offer this practice (this will be my third and second online), I get a lot of questions, including what this work involves, why it asks for a commitment of 40 days, and why it focuses on emotions. Though I hope the course description answers many of these questions—and I’m happy to answer ... Read more ...
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
Responding to Injustice: Why Settling the Nervous System and Slowing Response Times Matter
Recently, I’ve had several moments of witnessing first-hand the links between settling the body (that is, settling the nervous system) and showing up more mindfully, more open, and more like the “best self” that’s needed when striving for social and racial justice. In contrast, moments when my nervous system is “keyed up” (from exhaustion, from unresolved tension, from disappointment, and more), I find myself having knee-jerk reactions and being short with ... Read more ...
Lessons from a Poinsettia: Growing Resilience in 40 Days and Beyond
This poinsettia is amazing me—still blooming in these last days of February and reminding me that resilience (emotional elasticity, stamina, and strength) is something we don't often recognize until it’s already present and in place. When I googled how long poinsettias bloom, I was (and wasn’t) surprised to see that 40 days are a common period. The information not only confirms this poinsettia’s resilience (blooming for 3+ months), but it also feels like the ... Read more ...
Why I Don’t Believe the #CovingtonCatholic Student’s Statement
I woke up today (the day after MLK Day in the U.S.) to a Facebook friend who presents as a white woman asking if I’d seen the #CovingtonCatholic student’s statement because she’s not sure what to believe. Later in the day, a white family member also sent me the statement, presumably to vindicate the white students. These messages come in response to me speaking out over the past few days about the incident, asking for white folks to break patterns of niceness and to ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Hurting and Hollering in the Wake of This Week’s Violence
Bombs sent, guns shot. And I cry. Histories hidden, truths buried. And I ache. Hateful laws, escalating harms. And I mourn. White terrorism, everyday violence. And I rage. Black folks targeted. Jewish folks targeted. Native folks targeted. Latinx folks targeted. Migrant folks targeted. Trans folks targeted. Femme folks targeted. Marginalized folks targeted. Targeted, passive voice. Failing to name the assailants. Failing to name white supremacist, ... Read more ...
Crocheting Granny Squares, Connecting to Grandmothers, and Crafting a More Just Future
Recently, I felt inspired to pick up crocheting again, after many seasons without touching a needle, hook, or yarn. Feeling the call for creative self-care, I ordered vegan yarn in the colors of the 7 chakras and laid them out, planning a small afghan of granny squares. Thread yarn onto hook. Chain five, and connect stitches, making a circle. Days after purchasing the yarn and only a few stitches into my first granny square, my mom shared some news. Betty, the woman ... Read more ...
5 TED Talks for Developing Emotional Literacies for Racial Justice
Today marks the final day of the 40-day practice I’ve been leading for a local, predominantly-white church on developing emotional literacies. We’ve been focused on building and strengthening emotional awarenesses, knowledges, intelligences, and response-abilities for racial justice. As part of this practice, I’ve been sharing resources, including TED talks that provide language for understanding emotional literacies. In this post, I share five of these talks that are ... Read more ...
![My emotions are all over the place and surprising me these days—a sure sign that I’m grieving. One minute I’m crying, and the next I’m laughing. Then I’m irritable, exhausted, and falling asleep or fighting sleep. I’m hopeful and despondent and desiring and imagining and so, so much more.
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This photo represents one of the upbeat moments of the past week: feeling supported by the natural world, connected with my partner, and interested in the eagle perched nearby.
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I want to hold onto this sense of what’s possible, asking myself regularly: What/who am I connected with? Curious about? Inspired by? Committed to? Longing for? Bringing into being?
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Truly in a state of both/and, may I feel the pain and possibilities of this time—not denying what’s happening or taking it all on myself, but being in/with what’s required of us (individually and collectively) at this time.
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My counselor tells me that we’re experiencing vicarious trauma in addition to individual and collective grief. We’re each having our own histories of trauma, loss, injustice, and wrongdoing activated. And we’re attempting to hold space for each other, while needing others to hold space for us. Our capacities to show up will ebb and flow (will be all over the place, much like our emotions), but staying with the question of what am I able to hold is what’s required now. So, I stay with these questions, these emotions, these awarenesses. I stay in the mess of it all.
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Thoughts on this Friday, as I try to settle my body through writing. With love. <3 Beth
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[This image shows a selfie of me and my partner, both wearing jackets and black hats, surrounded by marshlands: water and mud and a cloudy sky.]
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#reflections #reflection #emotions #emotional #emotionalliteracy #outdoors #outdoorphotography](http://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/c2.0.1435.1435a/s640x640/90827178_143254807199654_4490575750736160124_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=102&_nc_ohc=-knC9GpgshEAX8gwT0W&oh=76bd6a4daaa6c266b1c69c1d57546628&oe=5EA9C71D "My emotions are all over the place and surprising me these days—a sure sign that I’m grieving. One minute I’m crying, and the next I’m laughing. Then I’m irritable, exhausted, and falling asleep or fighting sleep. I’m hopeful and despondent and desiring and imagining and so, so much more.
.
This photo represents one of the upbeat moments of the past week: feeling supported by the natural world, connected with my partner, and interested in the eagle perched nearby.
.
I want to hold onto this sense of what’s possible, asking myself regularly: What/who am I connected with? Curious about? Inspired by? Committed to? Longing for? Bringing into being?
.
Truly in a state of both/and, may I feel the pain and possibilities of this time—not denying what’s happening or taking it all on myself, but being in/with what’s required of us (individually and collectively) at this time.
.
My counselor tells me that we’re experiencing vicarious trauma in addition to individual and collective grief. We’re each having our own histories of trauma, loss, injustice, and wrongdoing activated. And we’re attempting to hold space for each other, while needing others to hold space for us. Our capacities to show up will ebb and flow (will be all over the place, much like our emotions), but staying with the question of what am I able to hold is what’s required now. So, I stay with these questions, these emotions, these awarenesses. I stay in the mess of it all.
.
Thoughts on this Friday, as I try to settle my body through writing. With love. <3 Beth
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[This image shows a selfie of me and my partner, both wearing jackets and black hats, surrounded by marshlands: water and mud and a cloudy sky.]
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#reflections #reflection #emotions #emotional #emotionalliteracy #outdoors #outdoorphotography")
![Individually and collectively, we’re sitting with a LOT in this moment, including a lot of uncertainty, change, and crisis. If you’d like to connect and process with others, consider joining an upcoming lunchtime webinar: “Processing the Pandemic with Heart-Head-Hands.”
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You could drop in tomorrow, or make it a habit (joining weekly on Wednesdays).
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Learn more and register: link in bio.
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[This image shows colorful paintbrush strokes shaping a heart and has the words "online processing space" on top of the heart.]
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#processing #holdingspace #communitycare #pandemic #meetingonline #connection #heartheadhands #feeling #thinking #doing #together #gathering #gatheringonline](http://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/s640x640/90861773_663154867774183_7278386536859769139_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=107&_nc_ohc=4Yn9uQtGwsUAX_fyUVu&oh=4d658e49c16051f1b8eae9d0159744b2&oe=5EA8F4CA "Individually and collectively, we’re sitting with a LOT in this moment, including a lot of uncertainty, change, and crisis. If you’d like to connect and process with others, consider joining an upcoming lunchtime webinar: “Processing the Pandemic with Heart-Head-Hands.”
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You could drop in tomorrow, or make it a habit (joining weekly on Wednesdays).
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Learn more and register: link in bio.
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[This image shows colorful paintbrush strokes shaping a heart and has the words \"online processing space\" on top of the heart.]
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#processing #holdingspace #communitycare #pandemic #meetingonline #connection #heartheadhands #feeling #thinking #doing #together #gathering #gatheringonline")
![So much is changing day-to-day, but one thing that consistently grounds and guides me is writing. So, connecting in online writing community feels especially important at this time.
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If you’d also like support through an online group, consider joining this next group, starting Tuesday.
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Register and learn more via link in bio.
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And if you know others who might be interested, please share with them. I find that folks find my offerings through personal connections and word-of-mouth recommendations. BIG THANKS!
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[This image shows a pink journal with “dots” written on the cover, alongside pink gemstones and gold sparkly hearts, bracelet, and ink pen: all against a white background.]
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#WritingCommunity #WritingGroup #OnlineWritingGroup #writers #writersofinstagram #writerslife #writerscommunity #writersblock #instawritersgroup #academiclife #academicwriting #blogging #grantwriting #dissertation #writingsupport #journaling #drafting #revising #recommitting #publishing #techwriting #supportforwriters #writingsupport #writerssupportingwriters #write #writing](http://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/s640x640/90318620_493368561539197_3086907694045978767_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=101&_nc_ohc=GjGP0ReEaH8AX-Ssgee&oh=535514e9c844b2e4341c418d53df23f3&oe=5EA73C5B "So much is changing day-to-day, but one thing that consistently grounds and guides me is writing. So, connecting in online writing community feels especially important at this time.
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If you’d also like support through an online group, consider joining this next group, starting Tuesday.
.
Register and learn more via link in bio.
.
And if you know others who might be interested, please share with them. I find that folks find my offerings through personal connections and word-of-mouth recommendations. BIG THANKS!
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[This image shows a pink journal with “dots” written on the cover, alongside pink gemstones and gold sparkly hearts, bracelet, and ink pen: all against a white background.]
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#WritingCommunity #WritingGroup #OnlineWritingGroup #writers #writersofinstagram #writerslife #writerscommunity #writersblock #instawritersgroup #academiclife #academicwriting #blogging #grantwriting #dissertation #writingsupport #journaling #drafting #revising #recommitting #publishing #techwriting #supportforwriters #writingsupport #writerssupportingwriters #write #writing")
![What a week and whirlwind it’s been!
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I woke this morning thinking about how I was scheduled to give a keynote and workshop with Jasmine Kar Tang at the Minnesota Writing and English (MnWE) conference today. Throughout the day, I’ve been feeling grateful for how the MnWE organizers communicated event changes, and I’m missing Minnesota friends (I hope to see you in-person in the future).
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Also this week, I shifted what would have been an in-person workshop to a Zoom meeting. There were downsides to moving online, but one upside is that the workshop, “What Matters to You Most? Career Discernment for YOUR Career Pathway,” is now online, thanks to the University of Minnesota’s Graduate School for sponsoring the workshop (and for keeping it scheduled). I share in the link in my bio, in case you might be interested in questions of commitment-driven career discernment (in the midst of #covid_19 and all the uncertainties of this time).
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There have been a LOT of uncertainties and changes day-to-day, and I’m grateful for conversations and community lifting me up this week. This includes friends and family; neighbors and mutual aid groups forming online; today’s online writing group (and a new group starting Tuesday); and folks showing up for “Processing the Pandemic with Heart-Head-Hands” (w/ gratitude for folks giving language to shared experiences).
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There’s been a lot to process each day, a lot of pivots to make, a lot of possibilities within each lesson (so many emotional and learning-full moments throughout the days). I’m not sure what’s ahead, and my heart is getting a real workout (from aching and grieving to feeling so loved) … but I sure am grateful for feeling closely connected (with myself and with others) in this moment of staying physically distant.
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Some thoughts on Friday~ with love, commitment, and willingness to face what’s ahead. ~ Beth <3
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[This image (taken from the Eventbrite page) shows a colorfully tiled V (like an arrow pointing down).]
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#Reflections #FridayFeeling #Workshops #WritingGroups #CommuinityCare #Gratitude #Support #GraduateEducation #HigherEducation #HigherEd #Academia #Careers #CareerDiscernment #CareerAdvice #reflection](http://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/e35/c138.0.399.399a/90089552_587936011803957_6938475479033474092_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=109&_nc_ohc=KoPRsQurh8MAX8QjTvd&oh=e8c3dc4ece996a93333571044759aedb&oe=5EA94D29 "What a week and whirlwind it’s been!
.
I woke this morning thinking about how I was scheduled to give a keynote and workshop with Jasmine Kar Tang at the Minnesota Writing and English (MnWE) conference today. Throughout the day, I’ve been feeling grateful for how the MnWE organizers communicated event changes, and I’m missing Minnesota friends (I hope to see you in-person in the future).
.
Also this week, I shifted what would have been an in-person workshop to a Zoom meeting. There were downsides to moving online, but one upside is that the workshop, “What Matters to You Most? Career Discernment for YOUR Career Pathway,” is now online, thanks to the University of Minnesota’s Graduate School for sponsoring the workshop (and for keeping it scheduled). I share in the link in my bio, in case you might be interested in questions of commitment-driven career discernment (in the midst of #covid_19 and all the uncertainties of this time).
.
There have been a LOT of uncertainties and changes day-to-day, and I’m grateful for conversations and community lifting me up this week. This includes friends and family; neighbors and mutual aid groups forming online; today’s online writing group (and a new group starting Tuesday); and folks showing up for “Processing the Pandemic with Heart-Head-Hands” (w/ gratitude for folks giving language to shared experiences).
.
There’s been a lot to process each day, a lot of pivots to make, a lot of possibilities within each lesson (so many emotional and learning-full moments throughout the days). I’m not sure what’s ahead, and my heart is getting a real workout (from aching and grieving to feeling so loved) … but I sure am grateful for feeling closely connected (with myself and with others) in this moment of staying physically distant.
.
Some thoughts on Friday~ with love, commitment, and willingness to face what’s ahead. ~ Beth <3
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[This image (taken from the Eventbrite page) shows a colorfully tiled V (like an arrow pointing down).]
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#Reflections #FridayFeeling #Workshops #WritingGroups #CommuinityCare #Gratitude #Support #GraduateEducation #HigherEducation #HigherEd #Academia #Careers #CareerDiscernment #CareerAdvice #reflection")
