Words That Matter and Inspire Me Now There are so many words to say today (in the midst of insurrection in the United States), but I want to share some words from adrienne maree brown. brown’s blog post this morning—what is unveiled? the founding wound. (poem/directive)—speaks to my soul. It speaks to festering wounds and the need to name violence and to break white supremacy: “denial will not disappear a wound.” I hope you’ll read this blog post in full. Along with this ... Read more ...
white fragility
Invitation to Join Upcoming Theatre of the Oppressed Workshops
This fall, as part of the 40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Stamina to Counter White Fragility, I’m facilitating two workshops using theatre of the oppressed. I invite you to join one or both of these workshops, if you’d like to experience Augusto Boal’s powerful approach, rehearse interventions into everyday racism, and connect with others engaged in this work. Here are the workshop dates and description: Friday, October 16th 2-5pm EasternFriday, November 6th ... Read more ...
What Is White Fragility?
How can those of us who identify as white, who are conditioned into whiteness, and who have internalized white supremacy recognize and respond to emotions before they do harm? How can we take accountability when they do? And how can we recognize complicity with the long-standing harm and systems that prevent taking accountability? These questions motivate the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Stamina to Counter White Fragility”: a daily practice of ... Read more ...
Unraveling Whiteness: A Call for More Courage
I’m thinking about whiteness—the structure, ideology, and everyday enactments—as I try to process (yet again) how white people weaponize whiteness. My heart is hurting with rage and grief from recent events, explained in these articles from The Root: “‘There’s an African-American Man Threatening My Life’: Karen Calls Police on Black Man for Asking Her to Leash Her Dog” “Outrage in Minneapolis after Black Man Dies in Custody Following Brutal Police Arrest: ‘I Cannot ... Read more ...
When Speaking Up at the Holidays Means “Complaining” and Being the Killjoy
Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
3 Reasons to Participate in the 40-Day Practice on Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility
Starting on November 22nd and running for the final 40 days of 2019, I’m offering the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility.” Every time I offer this practice (this will be my third and second online), I get a lot of questions, including what this work involves, why it asks for a commitment of 40 days, and why it focuses on emotions. Though I hope the course description answers many of these questions—and I’m happy to answer ... Read more ...
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
Responding to Injustice: Why Settling the Nervous System and Slowing Response Times Matter
Recently, I’ve had several moments of witnessing first-hand the links between settling the body (that is, settling the nervous system) and showing up more mindfully, more open, and more like the “best self” that’s needed when striving for social and racial justice. In contrast, moments when my nervous system is “keyed up” (from exhaustion, from unresolved tension, from disappointment, and more), I find myself having knee-jerk reactions and being short with ... Read more ...
Lessons from a Poinsettia: Growing Resilience in 40 Days and Beyond
This poinsettia is amazing me—still blooming in these last days of February and reminding me that resilience (emotional elasticity, stamina, and strength) is something we don't often recognize until it’s already present and in place. When I googled how long poinsettias bloom, I was (and wasn’t) surprised to see that 40 days are a common period. The information not only confirms this poinsettia’s resilience (blooming for 3+ months), but it also feels like the ... Read more ...
Why I Don’t Believe the #CovingtonCatholic Student’s Statement
I woke up today (the day after MLK Day in the U.S.) to a Facebook friend who presents as a white woman asking if I’d seen the #CovingtonCatholic student’s statement because she’s not sure what to believe. Later in the day, a white family member also sent me the statement, presumably to vindicate the white students. These messages come in response to me speaking out over the past few days about the incident, asking for white folks to break patterns of niceness and to ... Read more ...
![A fellow writer recently reminded me that writing retreats are TREATS, so if you’re looking for a way to treat yourself this winter, consider joining for a day or more: https://heart-head-hands.com/product/writing-retreats/
I know that writing may be furthest thing from your mind now. And a writing retreat might not feel like a treat now. No pressure, if life has other plans. I get it. I’m feeling the pandemic big-time these days.
*AND* if you feel like a writing treat would be grounding, supportive, or a retreat from other pressures, consider the upcoming dates: December 1, 6, 14, 21, 28 and January 4, 5.
There are multiple registration options, depending on what fits your budget and whether you’d like to subscribe for ongoing support. These retreats include time for writing, reflection, guided meditation, and optional feedback. Let me know if you have any questions. <3
[Image reads “Treat yourself. One-day writing retreats. Fuel for creative energy. Heart-Head-Hands.com.” The background is brown with blue, green, and orange patterns around the edges. A book-sized gift is wrapped in brown paper.]
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