This past month I’ve read Audre Lorde’s The Cancer Journals: one of the books I’ve heard and thought and talked about long enough that I’ve felt a knowing of it, yet never read it. And the timing of reading it now—during a global pandemic, in the midst of winter, and at a time when I’m trying to figure out my relationship with worsening asthma—has felt miraculously timed. It’s felt particularly significant to read Lorde’s oft-cited quote “your silence will not protect ... Read more ...
feminism
Living in a Global Pandemic, Reaching toward Collective Responsibilities
What’s demanded of us for living relationally and responsibly in the midst of a global pandemic? What’s demanded in this time of uncertainty, chaos, and crisis—a time that’s highlighting how precarious everyday life is, especially for people meant not to thrive within oppression? Sitting with these questions, here are three scenes. May weaving together story threads help with realizing—and perhaps reaching toward—collective responsibilities. Scene 1: Processing with ... Read more ...
When Speaking Up at the Holidays Means “Complaining” and Being the Killjoy
Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
Hurting and Hollering in the Wake of This Week’s Violence
Bombs sent, guns shot. And I cry. Histories hidden, truths buried. And I ache. Hateful laws, escalating harms. And I mourn. White terrorism, everyday violence. And I rage. Black folks targeted. Jewish folks targeted. Native folks targeted. Latinx folks targeted. Migrant folks targeted. Trans folks targeted. Femme folks targeted. Marginalized folks targeted. Targeted, passive voice. Failing to name the assailants. Failing to name white supremacist, ... Read more ...
Inside the Chrysalis, or Experiencing Mess, Mess, and More Mess
It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...
Beyond Self-Care: How Hiking Invites Self-Work
Time outdoors and along hiking trails is especially important time to me. As I’ve written previously, it’s time to consider the steps involved in making change, including learning to tread alternative paths. It’s time to slow down, notice beauty, and appreciate life, even in the roughest of conditions. It’s also time to do important intrapersonal work toward disrupting biases and internalized inferiority + superiority. It’s possible to consider activities like hiking ... Read more ...
“Pedagogical Too-Muchness,” Or a Call for Shaking up Schooling
This year I turned 39, and it’s my first in which I won’t be returning to school. I’ve spent my life in academic settings—as a child and adult, as a student and teacher, as a researcher and writer. Many of my friends are teachers, too, so I understand how August brings both angst and anticipation for the upcoming school year. Recently, I’ve been having conversations with friends about syllabi and course designs. I’ve been reading social media posts about the start of ... Read more ...
A New Spell for a New Space
These past few weeks I’ve been focused on moving and settling into a new home. The move has called attention to all sorts of stuff, habits, and emotional swings—things I’d like to keep and release, to shore up and tear down. This process has reminded me, too, of the contemplative practices that contribute to a sense of grounding: grounding needed to stand TALL for justice. One of these practices is spell-casting, which I learned from activist-writer-healer adrienne ... Read more ...
Countering Resistance Fatigue with a Both/And Approach
In the past few days, I’ve seen countless posts detailing “the horrors of this administration,” the latest of which include separating families and imprisoning immigrants. I’ve seen friends describing their embodied physical and emotional pain, including pain from complicity and always too-small actions. I’ve seen friends accounting their own family stories of separation, as the history of state-sponsored violence against Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) is ... Read more ...
Turning 39 and Thinking about Age(ism)
A few weeks ago, I turned 39. I get excited about birthdays, believing that age is cumulative, as “we’re all the ages we’ve ever been.” I think of new ages as adding experiences and insights while keeping all the previous ones: I’m still my toddler and teenage selves, and now I’m adding multiple adult selves into the mix. I joke that “I’m greedy and want all the ages” as a way to affirm and reclaim the joy of aging. And I do see joy in aging—in experiencing more of ... Read more ...
