Starting on November 22nd and running for the final 40 days of 2019, I’m offering the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Literacies to Counter White Fragility.” Every time I offer this practice (this will be my third and second online), I get a lot of questions, including what this work involves, why it asks for a commitment of 40 days, and why it focuses on emotions. Though I hope the course description answers many of these questions—and I’m happy to answer ... Read more ...
countering perfectionism
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
Toward Public Outcry: Why I’ll Keep Repeating #AbolishICE and #CloseTheCamps
Outcry: a strong expression of public anger and disapproval This week I dreamed about being detained when traveling, taken aside in an airport and made to wait and wait and wait … It became clear that I was being monitored and considered dangerous and essentially arrested. What started in the airport turned into a full detention / internment / concentration camp experience. The dream’s details are sketchy, but I remember feeling powerless. I couldn’t call for help. I ... Read more ...
How Small and Sustained Actions Turn Resolutions into Habits
Typically, by mid-year (by the summer solstice for those of us in the northern hemisphere), new year’s resolutions are a thing of the past. Months after setting resolutions, it’s easy to have forgotten or moved through them—with seasons shifting our embodied needs, creating the conditions for new intentions to be named. The summer solstice, then, provides the occasion for setting new resolutions, for looking backward to previous ones and forward to daily practices that ... Read more ...
A Minimalist Guide to Essential Oils
Recently, a friend asked what essential oils might best help with managing back pain, and I realized through answering the question that I take a minimalist (less is more) approach. Most folks I know either invest in a wide variety of essential oils or don’t use essential oils at all. In contrast, I’ve found a few favorite oils—ones that I know reliably help me with recurring issues—and I don’t expand my collection because, well, essential oils take a lot of investment: ... Read more ...
Responding to Injustice: Why Settling the Nervous System and Slowing Response Times Matter
Recently, I’ve had several moments of witnessing first-hand the links between settling the body (that is, settling the nervous system) and showing up more mindfully, more open, and more like the “best self” that’s needed when striving for social and racial justice. In contrast, moments when my nervous system is “keyed up” (from exhaustion, from unresolved tension, from disappointment, and more), I find myself having knee-jerk reactions and being short with ... Read more ...
Lentil Not-Soup (Or Lentil Soup in Solid Form)
This week I’m sharing a simple recipe combining lentils with chopped carrots, celery, and onions for a quick and tasty meal. It’s essentially lentil soup in solid form: a stir-fry of the basic ingredients that make lentil soup. This creation (perhaps like many) arose from necessity—from facing hunger during and after hiking and needing high-protein food to take on the trail or to prepare in minutes afterwards. Now this dish is also a reliable option when I’m too busy or ... Read more ...
Learning from and Healing Scars, Both Personal and Collective
Over the past year, my body has experienced a few physical injuries, including a concussion from falling last January and a cut from stepping on a broken bowl back in August. The fall left both knees badly scraped and bruised so that scars are still visible on the surface. The puncture in my foot has involved months of getting ceramic out—piece by piece—and an MRI now confirms that “only scar tissue remains.” That scar tissue isn’t visible like the scars on my knees, ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Parenting Myself 101
Over the past few months, I’ve been learning more about how to care for myself—a sort of self-care that I’m calling “parenting myself 101.” After a career change, cross-county move, and intense internal work “inside the chrysalis,” I’ve recognized the need to put good self-parenting into place. The language of “parenting” has been helpful for me to break from “self-care” focused on relaxation as an escape from everyday life. Rather than experiencing self-care as ... Read more ...
