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countering perfectionism

Parenting Myself 101

Filed Under: Contemplative Practices, Emotional Literacies By Beth Godbee December 21, 2018 4 Comments

This image shows two abstract figures -- a larger person (presumably parent) and smaller person (presumably child) reaching for each other's hands. The title "parenting myself 101" appears in blue against a light teal background. The figures are in a darker shade of teal.

Over the past few months, I’ve been learning more about how to care for myself—a sort of self-care that I’m calling “parenting myself 101.” After a career change, cross-county move, and intense internal work “inside the chrysalis,” I’ve recognized the need to put good self-parenting into place. The language of “parenting” has been helpful for me to break from “self-care” focused on relaxation as an escape from everyday life. Rather than experiencing self-care as ... Read more ...

Inside the Chrysalis, or Experiencing Mess, Mess, and More Mess

Filed Under: Emotional Literacies, Everyday Feminism By Beth Godbee September 22, 2018 8 Comments

Image of a fuzzy yellow-and-brown caterpillar with black and white hairs sticking out of its body, positioned on a wooden stick. This photo was taken along a hiking trail, so there’s faded grey and green in the background.

It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...

A New Spell for a New Space

Filed Under: Contemplative Practices, Everyday Feminism By Beth Godbee August 3, 2018 1 Comment

Printed copy of the spell (words that appear in this blog post) taped to a bathroom mirror with a colorful shower curtain showing part of a tree reflected in the mirror. The photo has a pink tint.

These past few weeks I’ve been focused on moving and settling into a new home. The move has called attention to all sorts of stuff, habits, and emotional swings—things I’d like to keep and release, to shore up and tear down. This process has reminded me, too, of the contemplative practices that contribute to a sense of grounding: grounding needed to stand TALL for justice. One of these practices is spell-casting, which I learned from activist-writer-healer adrienne ... Read more ...

Against the Tyranny of Positivity

Filed Under: Emotional Literacies, Higher Education By Beth Godbee July 27, 2018 Leave a Comment

The question "What emotional work is waiting to be done?" appears in white cursive font against a background of blues and greens. The background image appears to be an aerial view of the ocean with deeper water appearing as dark blue and shallow water as lighter blue and teal/green, touching land masses represented by brown-tan-yellow.

On this day of the lunar eclipse in Aquarius, may we allow ourselves to feel. To feel whatever comes up. To feel deeply, expansively, expressively. To feel a fuller range of emotions than we’re typically taught is appropriate or agreeable or allowable to feel. To grieve for Nia Wilson, for Markeis McGlockton, and for many people whose lives are deemed expendable. To rage against white supremacy, patriarchy, colonization, and oppression. To push past easy, ready, ... Read more ...

A Love Letter to Students Surviving Sexual Violence

Filed Under: Everyday Feminism, Higher Education By Beth Godbee April 19, 2018 2 Comments

Handwritten note saying, "Dear Reader, Every semester I’ve taught, students have shared with me stories of sexual violence and survival."

As we near the end of spring semester, students in both my “Contemplative Writing” and “Writing for Social Justice” courses are pulling together projects to make interventions in some way. Several students are addressing rape culture, and one student is compiling a book of letters by and for survivors of sexual violence. She hopes that others at our university will read the letters, write additional ones, and add threaded response—facilitating healing through ... Read more ...

“We’re All the Ages We’ve Ever Been”

Filed Under: Emotional Literacies By Beth Godbee March 24, 2018 Leave a Comment

Coloring page with image of four owls.

As much as I value self-care, there are times when it flies out the window. I’m no longer the adult caring for my inner child, but I'm the toddler or teen full of emotion and pursuit of immediate pleasure. This week, I’ve been really in touch with my 2-year-old self, who’s been demanding attention. When it’s running the show, I’m inclined to emotional meltdowns, sugar binges, irregular sleep, over-tired crying, and resistance to naps. I readily settle in front of the ... Read more ...

Reading Martin Luther King, Jr. as a White Woman in the Work for Racial Justice

Filed Under: Racial Justice By Beth Godbee January 15, 2018 Leave a Comment

A white, stone statue of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Each year, celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr. (MLK) Day in the United States brings new opportunities for mis-appropriating, mis-remembering, and mythologizing Dr. King’s legacy and the broader Civil Rights Movement. White people get the history wrong in many ways. Each year, celebrating MLK Day also brings new opportunities for re-reading Dr. King’s words and re-seeing the work that he—and so many people working for racial justice—have envisioned. MLK offers visions ... Read more ...

7 Lessons from My First Year Blogging

Filed Under: Everyday Feminism By Beth Godbee December 28, 2017 Leave a Comment

A silver laptop, a brown water bottle, and a white plate with blue edges topped with a baked treat and fork sit on a wooden table in a cafe.

As we approach the new year, I find myself engaging in a personal “year in review”: looking back on 2017, questioning what I’ve learned, and setting intentions for the year to come. This review prompts reflection on my first year of blogging, which has been both improvisational and planned, both reaching beyond and helping me set better boundaries. Blogging, for me, has meant speaking up and starting something new and scary that represents larger changes rippling ... Read more ...

Expect Miracles

Filed Under: Contemplative Practices, Everyday Feminism By Beth Godbee December 21, 2017 Leave a Comment

A brown temporary tatoo of a snake and arrow on Beth's hand which is also adorned by a brown, gem bracelet. In Beth's other hand she holds a white box with a blue arrow and yellow arrow stamped on the side.

Of the many lessons I’m still learning, an important one is to trust life as it unfolds. I struggle with trust because I struggle with letting go of perfectionism and perceived control. Despite these struggles, whenever I soften attachments to my preferred timing and open instead to possibilities, miracles occur. And the more I open to miracles, the more I find HOPE, which is so greatly needed on the long haul toward justice. Recently, I’ve had an important reminder ... Read more ...

Breaking Commitments and Recommitting through Mindful Reflection

Filed Under: Contemplative Practices, Emotional Literacies By Beth Godbee December 6, 2017 Leave a Comment

This image shows raindrops on top of green leaves.

A little more than a year ago, I wrote the following statement to describe this blog project: “Embodied knowledge matters. So do commitments. And especially acting on commitments as part of everyday life, BIG and small. This blog shares ongoing efforts of feeling, thinking, and doing for justice. Posts include reflections, recipes, research, and resources: all seek to make sense of what it means to live a life for justice.” This language signals that, at best, ... Read more ...

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About Beth Godbee

I'm an educator and former writing studies professor who believes our fully embodied selves matter in the world. We can’t just think our way out of the incredible injustices, dehumanization, violence, and wrongdoing that characterize everyday life. We must feel and act, too. [Pronouns: she/her.] Read more ...

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