Each month, I write a Q&A newsletter for Patreon subscribers based on questions I receive, and this month, it felt important to share these responses as a blog post. It felt important because I received three questions all related to the upcoming holiday: How do you interrupt the Thanksgiving holiday? How do you prepare for conversations with white family members? For example, how do you handle situations where people say “let’s agree to disagree” to shut things ... Read more ...
courage
What Is White Fragility?
How can those of us who identify as white, who are conditioned into whiteness, and who have internalized white supremacy recognize and respond to emotions before they do harm? How can we take accountability when they do? And how can we recognize complicity with the long-standing harm and systems that prevent taking accountability? These questions motivate the “40-Day Practice: Strengthening Emotional Stamina to Counter White Fragility”: a daily practice of ... Read more ...
How Do We Build More Accountable Lives?
This week’s processing group asked the question: “How do we build more accountable lives?” In the past few months, I’ve been inspired by and drawn into this question, using it to reflect on how I act on (and fall short of acting on) my commitments. I’m greatly influenced by community organizer Mia Mingus whose work focuses on transformative justice and disability justice. During Wednesday’s group, I read aloud a recent Instagram post by Mia Mingus, and I want to share ... Read more ...
Summer 2020 Is Calling for Change, and Processing Groups Can Support Change-Making Reflection and Re-Commitment
Among the many needs of this time, holding spaces—that is, spaces for processing, reflection, somatic awareness, and grounded re-commitment—feel particularly important. With this need in mind, I’m continuing to hold lunchtime processing groups: “Processing the Pandemic with Heart-Head-Hands.” Throughout the spring, these groups felt supportive for me—like I’d learn or remember or release something new with each session. So, this summer, I'm continuing to facilitate ... Read more ...
Unraveling Whiteness: A Call for More Courage
I’m thinking about whiteness—the structure, ideology, and everyday enactments—as I try to process (yet again) how white people weaponize whiteness. My heart is hurting with rage and grief from recent events, explained in these articles from The Root: “‘There’s an African-American Man Threatening My Life’: Karen Calls Police on Black Man for Asking Her to Leash Her Dog” “Outrage in Minneapolis after Black Man Dies in Custody Following Brutal Police Arrest: ‘I Cannot ... Read more ...
Wailing with the Wind: On Disrupting Work During the Pandemic
It’s windy today—the sort of wind that announces springtime. The sort of wind that lulls and gusts. The sort of wind that howls and rattles windows. The sort of wind that whips through rooms, scattering papers. As it has here: The wind has scattered page proofs that I’ve been pushing myself to review, responding to an email that came out of the blue, asking for proofs to be returned in under a week. On the one hand, these proofs represent good news: a chapter written ... Read more ...
Living in a Global Pandemic, Reaching toward Collective Responsibilities
What’s demanded of us for living relationally and responsibly in the midst of a global pandemic? What’s demanded in this time of uncertainty, chaos, and crisis—a time that’s highlighting how precarious everyday life is, especially for people meant not to thrive within oppression? Sitting with these questions, here are three scenes. May weaving together story threads help with realizing—and perhaps reaching toward—collective responsibilities. Scene 1: Processing with ... Read more ...
Words Cast Spells: Spell-Casting for 2020 to Experience Grief, Temperance, and Abundance
Though the new year marks a time for review and renewal, it’s often a few weeks into the year before I’m ready to set new goals via the contemplative practice of spell-casting. It’s as though I have to get out of the turbulent holiday season and new year energy before I’m ready to engage the magic of habit formation. This year (like the past couple) I’m returning to the practice of writing spells (like mantras, poems, or intentions) that I’ve learned through adrienne ... Read more ...
When Speaking Up at the Holidays Means “Complaining” and Being the Killjoy
Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
