Since the website launch in December 2018, I’ve been asking for support through Patreon, a platform for creators to make a sustainable income for doing creative work. Asking for support feels scary. It feels bumpy. Yet, it’s teaching me new ways to be in community, collaboration, and connection with others. As Chani Nicholas reminds me, it's important to “ask for what you need,” and so I’m asking that you (dear reader) consider becoming a patron of ... Read more ...
courage
Learning from and Healing Scars, Both Personal and Collective
Over the past year, my body has experienced a few physical injuries, including a concussion from falling last January and a cut from stepping on a broken bowl back in August. The fall left both knees badly scraped and bruised so that scars are still visible on the surface. The puncture in my foot has involved months of getting ceramic out—piece by piece—and an MRI now confirms that “only scar tissue remains.” That scar tissue isn’t visible like the scars on my knees, ... Read more ...
Announcing the Decision to Leave Higher Ed: 3 Responses that Surprised Me
Today the fourth part of my series “Outside Higher Ed” appeared in Inside Higher Ed. This piece shares three common responses to my news of leaving academia: “Good for you. I wish I could leave.” “You’re so brave.” “That’s a really big decision. Will you be ok?” I also share my emotional reactions and processing around these responses, which truly surprised me. More than anything else, I learned through announcing my decision that I’m not alone in struggling with ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Blessed Change
What does it mean to turn our lives upside down? How might looking at the world differently inspire new perspectives? What new perspectives are needed to enact more equitable relations? In recent weeks, I’ve been pulling this “Blessed Change” card whenever using Doreen Virtue’s “Marginal Mermaids and Dolphins” oracle deck as part of everyday divination, a meditation practice for grounding and interpreting lived experience. I started pulling divination or oracle ... Read more ...
Inside the Chrysalis, or Experiencing Mess, Mess, and More Mess
It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...
Announcing “Outside Higher Ed” in Inside Higher Ed
Today the first of four articles about my experience leaving academia appeared in Inside Higher Ed. As a series of articles, “Outside Higher Ed” seeks to identify processes that can be used by academics questioning whether and/or when to leave academia. Over the next four months, I hope to share my chronological process of leaving a tenure-track position, walking through four stages: (1) origin—recognizing the seed or origin of the idea to leave, (2) ... Read more ...
Do It Scared
“Do it scared.” I have Docta E (Dr. Elaine Richardson) to thank for this mantra that I keep close at hand. A couple of years ago, Docta E talked with my “Writing for Social Justice” class about her book PHD to Ph.D.: How Education Saved My Life, and students asked Docta E to share advice for writers. Similar to the advice Luvvie Ajayi shares in the TED talk “Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable,” Docta E talked about pushing through fear and showing up for the work ... Read more ...
Against the Tyranny of Positivity
On this day of the lunar eclipse in Aquarius, may we allow ourselves to feel. To feel whatever comes up. To feel deeply, expansively, expressively. To feel a fuller range of emotions than we’re typically taught is appropriate or agreeable or allowable to feel. To grieve for Nia Wilson, for Markeis McGlockton, and for many people whose lives are deemed expendable. To rage against white supremacy, patriarchy, colonization, and oppression. To push past easy, ready, ... Read more ...
Countering Resistance Fatigue with a Both/And Approach
In the past few days, I’ve seen countless posts detailing “the horrors of this administration,” the latest of which include separating families and imprisoning immigrants. I’ve seen friends describing their embodied physical and emotional pain, including pain from complicity and always too-small actions. I’ve seen friends accounting their own family stories of separation, as the history of state-sponsored violence against Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) is ... Read more ...