Though the new year marks a time for review and renewal, it’s often a few weeks into the year before I’m ready to set new goals via the contemplative practice of spell-casting. It’s as though I have to get out of the turbulent holiday season and new year energy before I’m ready to engage the magic of habit formation. This year (like the past couple) I’m returning to the practice of writing spells (like mantras, poems, or intentions) that I’ve learned through adrienne ... Read more ...
courage
When Speaking Up at the Holidays Means “Complaining” and Being the Killjoy
Last year, during the holidays, I blew up (yelling, cursing, and storming off), and the experience highlighted for me the need to embrace criticisms that I’m “too sensitive,” “too critical,” and “too complaining.” On the day I blew up, I was so overwhelmed, disconnected, and worn down by systemic oppression that my body couldn’t take it. I held myself together until I couldn’t hold it in anymore: then, I released a tidal wave of rage. I’m still processing, but I’m ... Read more ...
From Fear to Love: Working with Emotional Overload
Emotional Overload Is Rooted in Fear Last week I said goodbye to the phone I’d had for more than 3 years, a phone I was attached to more than I’d like to admit. I entered a state of complete overwhelm, spiraling between questions and frustrations, between crying and raging: How could I possibly learn a new phone? Why aren’t there any small phones? How will one of the new—BIG—phones fit in my pocket? It’s not fair that all the phones are large, while women’s pants ... Read more ...
Responding to White Supremacist Terror, This Time in El Paso
I woke this morning in Ireland to news of the El Paso shooting: the latest act of white supremacist terror in the United States. My body was already aching (today’s a rest day after some seriously long walks), but the news ramped up the ache and lodged itself in my chest. I recognized the familiar heartache that comes with shootings and acts of violence, particularly against Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)—in this case, against Latinx folks in Texas. Along ... Read more ...
Toward Public Outcry: Why I’ll Keep Repeating #AbolishICE and #CloseTheCamps
Outcry: a strong expression of public anger and disapproval This week I dreamed about being detained when traveling, taken aside in an airport and made to wait and wait and wait … It became clear that I was being monitored and considered dangerous and essentially arrested. What started in the airport turned into a full detention / internment / concentration camp experience. The dream’s details are sketchy, but I remember feeling powerless. I couldn’t call for help. I ... Read more ...
What Is Career Discernment?
I’ve encountered this question in recent weeks, since announcing the e-course “Career Discernment for Academics: Aligning Career with Commitments.” Over the past 2-3 years, since working through my own career discernment process and writing about it in Inside Higher Ed, I’ve been thinking about why I’m drawn to the word “career discernment” rather than career exploration or advising or coaching or other options. And now I’m being asked time and again: What is ... Read more ...
Turning 40 with the Gift of 40 Miles: Why I’m Taking Myself on Walks This Month
May is both my birth month and a time of transition (when the school year ends and summer begins). For as long as I can remember, I’ve looked forward to May and its potential for renewal. This year I’m celebrating my 40th birthday and wanting to mark the occasion with extended time on trails. Specifically, I’m setting a goal to hike 40 miles on my own this month: miles that I’ll walk toward understanding how to be independent within interdependence. Why This ... Read more ...
Why Small Sustaining Support Matters for Creators
Since the website launch in December 2018, I’ve been asking for support through Patreon, a platform for creators to make a sustainable income for doing creative work. Asking for support feels scary. It feels bumpy. Yet, it’s teaching me new ways to be in community, collaboration, and connection with others. As Chani Nicholas reminds me, it's important to “ask for what you need,” and so I’m asking that you (dear reader) consider becoming a patron of ... Read more ...
Learning from and Healing Scars, Both Personal and Collective
Over the past year, my body has experienced a few physical injuries, including a concussion from falling last January and a cut from stepping on a broken bowl back in August. The fall left both knees badly scraped and bruised so that scars are still visible on the surface. The puncture in my foot has involved months of getting ceramic out—piece by piece—and an MRI now confirms that “only scar tissue remains.” That scar tissue isn’t visible like the scars on my knees, ... Read more ...
Announcing the Decision to Leave Higher Ed: 3 Responses that Surprised Me
Today the fourth part of my series “Outside Higher Ed” appeared in Inside Higher Ed. This piece shares three common responses to my news of leaving academia: “Good for you. I wish I could leave.” “You’re so brave.” “That’s a really big decision. Will you be ok?” I also share my emotional reactions and processing around these responses, which truly surprised me. More than anything else, I learned through announcing my decision that I’m not alone in struggling ... Read more ...
