It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...
divination
A New Spell for a New Space
These past few weeks I’ve been focused on moving and settling into a new home. The move has called attention to all sorts of stuff, habits, and emotional swings—things I’d like to keep and release, to shore up and tear down. This process has reminded me, too, of the contemplative practices that contribute to a sense of grounding: grounding needed to stand TALL for justice. One of these practices is spell-casting, which I learned from activist-writer-healer adrienne ... Read more ...
Against the Tyranny of Positivity
On this day of the lunar eclipse in Aquarius, may we allow ourselves to feel. To feel whatever comes up. To feel deeply, expansively, expressively. To feel a fuller range of emotions than we’re typically taught is appropriate or agreeable or allowable to feel. To grieve for Nia Wilson, for Markeis McGlockton, and for many people whose lives are deemed expendable. To rage against white supremacy, patriarchy, colonization, and oppression. To push past easy, ready, ... Read more ...
When Everything Is Horrible, Try Slowing Down and Noticing
On a recent hike, I found myself complaining about the heat and mosquitoes. I was walking quickly, speeding up to get off the trail, and failing to notice my surroundings. It wasn’t until I took a break on the ground—literally sitting in the middle of the trail—that I noticed blooming mayapples underneath large leaves. All around me but out of sight when walking were flowers promising spring and the summer to come. The more I slowed down and took breaks on the ... Read more ...
Turning 39 and Thinking about Age(ism)
A few weeks ago, I turned 39. I get excited about birthdays, believing that age is cumulative, as “we’re all the ages we’ve ever been.” I think of new ages as adding experiences and insights while keeping all the previous ones: I’m still my toddler and teenage selves, and now I’m adding multiple adult selves into the mix. I joke that “I’m greedy and want all the ages” as a way to affirm and reclaim the joy of aging. And I do see joy in aging—in experiencing more of ... Read more ...
Learning to Ask for What I Want
I’m learning to pay attention to small signs and recurring themes that show up in my life, and in the past week, I’ve seen time and again messages to ask for what I want. I’ve seen these messages through friends’ social media posts, through conversations with former students, and even through Chani Nicholas’s astrological reading: These messages are reminding me of how often I encourage other writers to do the big, bold move of submitting work before it feels ... Read more ...
Crocheting Granny Squares, Connecting to Grandmothers, and Crafting a More Just Future
Recently, I felt inspired to pick up crocheting again, after many seasons without touching a needle, hook, or yarn. Feeling the call for creative self-care, I ordered vegan yarn in the colors of the 7 chakras and laid them out, planning a small afghan of granny squares. Thread yarn onto hook. Chain five, and connect stitches, making a circle. Days after purchasing the yarn and only a few stitches into my first granny square, my mom shared some news. Betty, the woman ... Read more ...
Snapshots of Support
This week I’ve felt stretched thin—waking up earlier and heading to bed later than I’d like. One moment, I’m reviewing students’ midterm portfolios. The next, I’m scripting a hard conversation. While attending to microaggressions and facilitating tricky online and in-person conversations, I’m also sharing hopeful-yet-emotional announcements with family, friends, colleagues, and students. In the midst of such frenzied and frenetic activity, I’ve been finding support ... Read more ...
My Journey with Back Pain
Back pain. It’s a friend who’s accompanied me through most of my life, beginning in my early teens and really intensifying during graduate school when I had an “emergency surgery” after losing muscular control of my right foot. In 2006, when I had this surgery, I experienced intense pain: burning sensations that radiated from my low back down my right leg and into the toes that I couldn’t lift. It was a scary experience. The last decade has taken me on an unexpected ... Read more ...
Caterpillars and the Butterfly Effect: Noticing Small Signs and Taking Small Actions
2018. New Year’s Day. I am with family in Florida and noticing many interesting insects, including these caterpillars and moths: Curiosity leads us to watch, take photographs, and later look up the species, learning that these are oleander caterpillars transformed into oleander moths. I keep seeing caterpillars and moths, so I begin researching their symbolic significance. Suddenly I realize this is another example of everyday divination and miraculous timing, as ... Read more ...
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[Photo shows my first campfire of the summer with yellow-orange-red flames inside a fire pit -- against a dark blue-purple background.]
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