Over the past few months, I’ve been learning more about how to care for myself—a sort of self-care that I’m calling “parenting myself 101.” After a career change, cross-county move, and intense internal work “inside the chrysalis,” I’ve recognized the need to put good self-parenting into place. The language of “parenting” has been helpful for me to break from “self-care” focused on relaxation as an escape from everyday life. Rather than experiencing self-care as ... Read more ...
resilience
Hurting and Hollering in the Wake of This Week’s Violence
Bombs sent, guns shot. And I cry. Histories hidden, truths buried. And I ache. Hateful laws, escalating harms. And I mourn. White terrorism, everyday violence. And I rage. Black folks targeted. Jewish folks targeted. Native folks targeted. Latinx folks targeted. Migrant folks targeted. Trans folks targeted. Femme folks targeted. Marginalized folks targeted. Targeted, passive voice. Failing to name the assailants. Failing to name white supremacist, ... Read more ...
Loving to Read Again
During graduate school, there were many weeks of being so overloaded by assigned reading that I couldn’t do it all and felt constantly behind. I recognized that the goal was to learn to skim and to put my hands on more and more research, even if I couldn’t savor many pieces. The trouble was that the more I couldn’t savor what I was reading, the more I associated reading itself with feelings of being overwhelmed and behind. When I shared with a mentor how stressful ... Read more ...
Blessed Change
What does it mean to turn our lives upside down? How might looking at the world differently inspire new perspectives? What new perspectives are needed to enact more equitable relations? In recent weeks, I’ve been pulling this “Blessed Change” card whenever using Doreen Virtue’s “Marginal Mermaids and Dolphins” oracle deck as part of everyday divination, a meditation practice for grounding and interpreting lived experience. I started pulling divination or oracle ... Read more ...
Inside the Chrysalis, or Experiencing Mess, Mess, and More Mess
It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...
Beyond Self-Care: How Hiking Invites Self-Work
Time outdoors and along hiking trails is especially important time to me. As I’ve written previously, it’s time to consider the steps involved in making change, including learning to tread alternative paths. It’s time to slow down, notice beauty, and appreciate life, even in the roughest of conditions. It’s also time to do important intrapersonal work toward disrupting biases and internalized inferiority + superiority. It’s possible to consider activities like hiking ... Read more ...
Do It Scared
“Do it scared.” I have Dr. E (Dr. Elaine Richardson) to thank for this mantra that I keep close at hand. A couple of years ago, Dr. E talked with my “Writing for Social Justice” class about her book PHD to Ph.D.: How Education Saved My Life, and students asked Dr. E to share advice for writers. Similar to the advice Luvvie Ajayi shares in the TED talk “Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable,” Dr. E talked about pushing through fear and showing up for the work anyway. ... Read more ...
A New Spell for a New Space
These past few weeks I’ve been focused on moving and settling into a new home. The move has called attention to all sorts of stuff, habits, and emotional swings—things I’d like to keep and release, to shore up and tear down. This process has reminded me, too, of the contemplative practices that contribute to a sense of grounding: grounding needed to stand TALL for justice. One of these practices is spell-casting, which I learned from activist-writer-healer adrienne ... Read more ...
Against the Tyranny of Positivity
On this day of the lunar eclipse in Aquarius, may we allow ourselves to feel. To feel whatever comes up. To feel deeply, expansively, expressively. To feel a fuller range of emotions than we’re typically taught is appropriate or agreeable or allowable to feel. To grieve for Nia Wilson, for Markeis McGlockton, and for many people whose lives are deemed expendable. To rage against white supremacy, patriarchy, colonization, and oppression. To push past easy, ready, ... Read more ...
When Everything Is Horrible, Try Slowing Down and Noticing
On a recent hike, I found myself complaining about the heat and mosquitoes. I was walking quickly, speeding up to get off the trail, and failing to notice my surroundings. It wasn’t until I took a break on the ground—literally sitting in the middle of the trail—that I noticed blooming mayapples underneath large leaves. All around me but out of sight when walking were flowers promising spring and the summer to come. The more I slowed down and took breaks on the ... Read more ...
