Today the fourth part of my series “Outside Higher Ed” appeared in Inside Higher Ed. This piece shares three common responses to my news of leaving academia: “Good for you. I wish I could leave.” “You’re so brave.” “That’s a really big decision. Will you be ok?” I also share my emotional reactions and processing around these responses, which truly surprised me. More than anything else, I learned through announcing my decision that I’m not alone in struggling ... Read more ...
interaction
Living in Shutdown USA
In recent weeks, friends have been asking about my experience with the government shutdown. I’m feeling and experiencing a lot, living in DC, or “America’s lightning rod” (thanks to Katharine Weinmann for this language from a recent comment). Certainly, the city feels on edge and reminds me of the urgent need for resistance, for visioning, and for choosing alternative paths, if we are ever to stop the perpetuation of injustice. I look to everyday life for direction, ... Read more ...
My New Year’s Resolution = Self-Love for Countering White Fragility
The days leading up to this new year have been bumpy for me, pushing me to recommit to radical self-love. I’ve had some really tough conversations with family around everyday injustice, and these conversations have reminded me why we need a deep well of emotional literacies for confronting complicity. In the midst of one of these tough conversations—in which I was speaking aloud my embodied responses to white supremacy—I shared that my heart was throbbing, and I ... Read more ...
Inside the Chrysalis, or Experiencing Mess, Mess, and More Mess
It’s not uncommon for me to ride emotional roller-coasters with swings from sweet to sour as I go about my days. More and more, I’ve noticed these swings as I’ve tuned in with my emotions and embodied self through Reiki, yoga, and other contemplative practices. The more I do inner work and the more I embrace mess, the more the messiness of being an always-incomplete, imperfect human inevitability shows up. Still, if I’m being honest with myself, the past few weeks have ... Read more ...
Naming Trauma as Trauma
As part of my research on epistemic injustice, I’ve been thinking about the power of naming: the power of having the linguistic resources to identify, describe, and call out varied experiences, especially experiences of injustice. Systemic oppression works in a way that denies the ability to name experiences of wrongdoing. When experiences are named, they can be acknowledged and addressed. To me, this is part of the power of the word microaggressions: the word allows ... Read more ...
Today Healing Looks Like …
I was only a few hours into Monday morning, and I’d already had three friends text me about grief, a conversation about not just anger but full-on flaming rage, and multiple conversations about how the word heartache doesn’t even come close to capturing the intense pain of seeing families separated and incarcerated. One friend wrote that “the horrors of this administration are making me physically ill,” a statement that caused me to stop and think about my own bodily ... Read more ...
Turning 39 and Thinking about Age(ism)
A few weeks ago, I turned 39. I get excited about birthdays, believing that age is cumulative, as “we’re all the ages we’ve ever been.” I think of new ages as adding experiences and insights while keeping all the previous ones: I’m still my toddler and teenage selves, and now I’m adding multiple adult selves into the mix. I joke that “I’m greedy and want all the ages” as a way to affirm and reclaim the joy of aging. And I do see joy in aging—in experiencing more of ... Read more ...
A Barrage of Microaggressions
Some years ago I began recording everyday microaggressions toward learning to recognize racism, which is so often coded and which whiteness has taught me not to see. This recording project aimed at building a repository of common microaggressions to teach with and practice interventions using Augusto Boal’s theatre of the oppressed. The project emerged from conversations with colleagues of color, who shared how often white colleagues failed to believe their experiences. ... Read more ...
Do Vegans Kill Spiders? Recognizing Fears and Others’ Right to Exist
During the holidays, I visited family in Tennessee and Florida, where we encountered multiple spiders. They were doing what spiders do in houses: walking along baseboards, in and out of shadows, with seemingly little or no interest in human co-habitants. From growing up in the Tennessee mountains, I’m familiar with spiders. I’ve studied which spiders’ venom is likely to impact humans. I’ve encountered black widows, watched for brown recluses, and investigated spider ... Read more ...
Caterpillars and the Butterfly Effect: Noticing Small Signs and Taking Small Actions
2018. New Year’s Day. I am with family in Florida and noticing many interesting insects, including these caterpillars and moths: Curiosity leads us to watch, take photographs, and later look up the species, learning that these are oleander caterpillars transformed into oleander moths. I keep seeing caterpillars and moths, so I begin researching their symbolic significance. Suddenly I realize this is another example of everyday divination and miraculous timing, as ... Read more ...
