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Welcoming Winter by Looking Within

Filed Under: Emotional Literacies By Beth Godbee December 15, 2016 Leave a Comment

I haven’t always loved caves.

I remember years of summer camp when I was so afraid of entering “the bat cave” that I worried about this outing for days ahead of time and even sat out a year or two. Yet, growing up in Tennessee and spending summers in Kentucky (the land of limestone, sink holes, and caverns), I learned to love—truly enjoy, crave, and seek time visiting—caves.

Beth, dressed in a light blue jacket and black pants, sitting with Johnathan, dressed in a green jacket and tan pants, on a brick wall infront of rock fomations in a cave. The stalactites and stalagmites are a golden yellow color and are well lit.
An image of orange-brown stalactites in a cave, with the bottom half of the image being a mirror of the top with the presence of water in the cave. There are two small lights in the left-hand back corner of the cave. The water in the cave is clear.
Long stalactites hang from the top of a cave ceiling and short, stubbier stalagmites are on the cave ground. Small pockets of light illuminate the inside of the cave. The rock formations on the ceiling are a brown-mustard yellow color and the rock formations on the cave floor are a darker shade of brown, with the formations on the right and left sides of the image are a warm orange-pink color.

Small eggs of varrying shades of white and brown are seen in the pale sand. Seashells and stones are also in the sand. The eggs are gathered into piles in the sand.
An image of a small body of water in a cave. The cave consists of brown and orange stone and is parted by a stream of clear water. At the bottom of the water, grey rock formations can be seen. Towards the back of the cave the water stops and the rocks close in.
Beth is seen in a dark cave wearing a pink shirt with white floral patterns, black paints, an orange hat with a light attached to the front, and a blue jacket tied around her waist. Beth is holding a long rope, which is tied to a rock, and is walking between the rocks.

An image of two people, one of whom is Beth, who is dressed in a pink and white sleeveless shirt with an orange helmet with a light attached to the front. Beth stands closest to the camera and the other figure is further off in the background. The figure furthest from the camera is wearing a blue hat with a light attached and a neon green shirt. Both people are standing in a dark cave full of jagged rock formations.
An image of numerous small, flat, brown rocks stacked on top of eachother. The stack is next to a dark colored lantern that shows a bright, yellow light.
This image is dimly lit and is of the inside of cave. The cave winds backwards and is full of brown and grey rocks.

An image of rock formations in a cave from above. The rocks end in sharp points and are warm brown colors with streaks of orange and yellow.
An image picturing rock formations above clear, blueish, greenish water. The rocks appear wet and shiny and vary in colors from purple-grey to warm browns.
Beth stands with her arms crossed infront of her chest infront of the mout of a dark cave. She has dark brown chin length hair and is wearing a purple shirt and a purple sweater. The photo is from the waist up. The cave behind her is not illuminated and the rocks are somewhat jagged.

Today, when I ask myself why I love caves, I realize that entering the earth feels like burrowing into myself—and in a grounded way. Metaphorically, the cave feels like a supportive hug. Literally, the cave is dark and quiet, a space that invites introspection.

Think of the long traditions of people meditating, soul-searching, and undertaking rites of passage in caves. Or of Plato constructing the “allegory of the cave,” a narrative of confronting illusion. Or of bears hibernating through winter and reawakening in the spring, a time of renewal.

Cave symbolism includes reflection and looking within, darkness and confronting shadow, winter and being inactive, the moon and embracing feminine energy.

As I seek to know and act from my best self, I look within. As I seek to befriend the feminine and see it as a source of strength, I learn from dreaming. As I seek to stand TALL and speak my truth, I find voice in silence.

fall2009_034

As I enter into winter (there’s already snow on the ground and temperatures well below freezing here in Wisconsin), I resolve to tune into how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, and what I can do. I resolve to listen to my inner voice and its whispers (before my body yells through pain or other means for attention). I resolve to be truer to my truths, my commitments, and my joys. I resolve to work toward radical self-love, knowing that the more I invest in loving myself, the better I can love others, the more fully I can show up, the more forcefully I can serve.

White fragility persists because of insecurity, defensiveness, and fear of messing up. Similarly, internalized sexism relies on layers of emotions that are not only inherited but also implicitly driving thoughts and actions. Looking within—deep, ongoing, reflexive work—is needed to counter these and so many interlocking pieces of systemic oppression.

So, this winter I give myself permission to enter the cave, to embrace my bear-like desire to hibernate, and to look within toward making some BIG changes. I know that this blog is part of those changes, as it’s an active practice to let go of perfection. To speak out, I must get comfortable—really, really ok—with messing up, admitting wrong, recovering, and trying again.

Here I go with this practice!

—
This post is written by Beth Godbee for Heart-Head-Hands.com. Please consider liking this blog on FB and following the blog via email. Thanks!

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Tagged with: countering perfectionism, divination, emotional literacies, environmental justice, hiking, learning, meditation, racial justice, shadow, social justice, systemic oppression, white fragility, whiteness

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About Beth Godbee

I'm an educator and former writing studies professor who believes our fully embodied selves matter in the world. We can’t just think our way out of the incredible injustices, dehumanization, violence, and wrongdoing that characterize everyday life. We must feel and act, too. [Pronouns: she/her.] Read more ...

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