In the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about when and how I tune into my “strong YES” for decision-making. I find that I’m truer to myself when I’m following Marty Tribble’s guidance: “The absence of a strong YES is actually a no.” Reflecting on this advice is what led me to write “Using Your ‘Strong Yes’ to Guide Career Decisions” for Inside Higher Ed:
I hope that this article helps others tap into the strong YES not only for navigating job searches and career decisions, but also for everyday decision-making and living for justice. I share in this article five strategies for finding the strong YES:
1. Follow the deeper breath.
2. Check in with the heart, head, and hands.
3. Keep an emotion journal.
4. Look for signs in everyday life.
5. Look inward through guided meditation.
Each of these strategies asks us to prioritize embodied knowledge, inner knowing, and emotional literacies that we too-often downplay or discount, especially in higher education.
Each of these strategies asks us to unlearn ways of being-doing-living that keep us limited to less than our whole selves, less than fully human and messy.
Each of these strategies asks us to slow down through imperfect meditation and other contemplative practices so that we stop shutting out what hurts and instead get to know ourselves and our commitments with greater clarity.
Despite practicing these strategies, I still often act without checking in with my body, without intentionality, and instead with procedural efficiency. I’ve had several recent reminders—from dropping my phone to becoming sick—that I need to slow down and listen more carefully.
When I listen for/to my strong YES, I sometimes have to change plans. For example, recently I’ve sat on several blog posts, not sure if or when they’ll feel ready to share, and I’ve canceled several meetings, not sure if or when I’ll feel ready to have them.
Truly, listening for/to the strong YES is essential for de-routinizing dehumanization, yet it’s so hard to do because I love routines, even when they undermine well-being. Similarly, the strong YES is essential for countering the lies of internalized inferiority and superiority, yet I’m so attached to these lies that I resist letting go. Noticing routines and resistance helps me shift toward more careful, mindful listening.
Toward better listening, I am starting today a daily practice of yoga nidra that I hope will help me stay truer to myself and my commitments. As I work to align with my strong YES, I hope you’ll join me in asking:
- How can I release the “shoulds” that inadvertently direct my days?
- How can I notice (and be kinder to myself when I notice) that I’m acting without intention?
- How can I better align my everyday living with my hopes and commitments?
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This post is written by Beth Godbee for Heart-Head-Hands.com. For more posts like this one, you might try “Imperfect Meditation and the Desire to ‘Slow Way Down’” and “Reframing ‘Independence Day’ as a Day for Truth-Telling and Committing to Justice.” Please also consider following the blog via email. Thanks!
![Since posting about turtles earlier this week, I’ve been thinking about the mantra “slow and steady.” Though I’m often hard on myself—noticing all the ways I fall short or don’t act on this mantra—I had a recent reminder that simply doing something regularly, even if less often than I’d like, allows for growth.
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Specifically, this week I “flashed” my first 5.9 climbing route (meaning that I got up the wall on my first try). I’ve been climbing for almost 16 months, and my learning has been slow, slow, slow … More often than not, I feel like I’m struggling. I feel clumsy and shaky. I bump my knees and tweak my shoulders and cry a lot. Yet, by sticking with the work (in this case, climbing), I’m meeting new milestones. A few months ago, I began trying 5.8s, then 5.9s, and now I’m regularly getting up those routes.
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Like a turtle, I’m moving from my starting place, perhaps slower than others and slower than I’d like … but steadily, I’m becoming a “climber,” and surely, I’m learning to stay with what’s hard to develop the stamina and strength to keep going.
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Knowing that stamina is especially needed for white folks to stay in the work for racial justice (and for all sorts of learning-living anti-oppression work), may the image of the turtle and the mantra of “slow and steady” help as guiding points.
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Two steps forward, one step backward, but stepping, still … Step after step after step …
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[This photo of me climbing is from a few months ago, but it shows me working the route. :-)]
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#bloggersofinstagram #socialjusticeeducation #climbing #climbingtraining #climb #climbing_lovers #climbing_photos_of_instagram #belayon #climbon #learning #climbinglessons #slowandsteady #slowingdown #longhaul #slowprogress #slowprogressisstillprogress #stickwithit #steady #saturdayvibes #saturdaymorning #reflection #storytelling #lifelessons #alwayslearning](http://scontent-ort2-2.cdninstagram.com/vp/7044bea515c5aed622b735fa2e0fdcf2/5CEAE4AC/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/c0.134.1080.1080/s640x640/51275780_538507049971301_4950861348305084968_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.cdninstagram.com "Since posting about turtles earlier this week, I’ve been thinking about the mantra “slow and steady.” Though I’m often hard on myself—noticing all the ways I fall short or don’t act on this mantra—I had a recent reminder that simply doing something regularly, even if less often than I’d like, allows for growth.
.
Specifically, this week I “flashed” my first 5.9 climbing route (meaning that I got up the wall on my first try). I’ve been climbing for almost 16 months, and my learning has been slow, slow, slow … More often than not, I feel like I’m struggling. I feel clumsy and shaky. I bump my knees and tweak my shoulders and cry a lot. Yet, by sticking with the work (in this case, climbing), I’m meeting new milestones. A few months ago, I began trying 5.8s, then 5.9s, and now I’m regularly getting up those routes.
.
Like a turtle, I’m moving from my starting place, perhaps slower than others and slower than I’d like … but steadily, I’m becoming a “climber,” and surely, I’m learning to stay with what’s hard to develop the stamina and strength to keep going.
.
Knowing that stamina is especially needed for white folks to stay in the work for racial justice (and for all sorts of learning-living anti-oppression work), may the image of the turtle and the mantra of “slow and steady” help as guiding points.
.
Two steps forward, one step backward, but stepping, still … Step after step after step …
.
[This photo of me climbing is from a few months ago, but it shows me working the route. :-)]
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#bloggersofinstagram #socialjusticeeducation #climbing #climbingtraining #climb #climbing_lovers #climbing_photos_of_instagram #belayon #climbon #learning #climbinglessons #slowandsteady #slowingdown #longhaul #slowprogress #slowprogressisstillprogress #stickwithit #steady #saturdayvibes #saturdaymorning #reflection #storytelling #lifelessons #alwayslearning")
![Still in my first year as a #smallbusiness owner, I can say that this work isn't possible without a strong, supportive network. There are many people to say THANKS to specifically, but let me say today (on #ValentinesDay) that my heart swells whenever I think of the support that's flowed my way this year. Today, may each of us feel a little more love flowing in our directions, a little more love filling up our reservoirs and making possible the work we're each called to do. Truly, you are loved. I send love. <3
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[Image description: This Valentine's Day card is primarily yellow and blue with pink-red flowers lining the bottom. It reads "you are loved" in large script, followed by "Happy Valentine's Day" in all-caps. Below that is the message, repeated in script: "Thanks for your support this year! With love, Beth (Heart-Head-Hands.com)."] .
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#supportwomen #gratitude #lovenothate #love #valentinesday2018 #valentines #grateful #gratitude #loveyou #instalove #lovenote #veganblogger #bloggerlife #bloggersofinstagram #womanownedbusiness #womanowned #womanownedbiz #youareloved #youarelove #thankyou #support #supportivefriends #supportnetwork #sendinglove](http://scontent-ort2-2.cdninstagram.com/vp/3aaa1eed7631b4856bd3035d1d0ee8e0/5CEDC5A1/t51.2885-15/e35/c96.0.479.479/51321814_116709839443439_8702693490264459485_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.cdninstagram.com "Still in my first year as a #smallbusiness owner, I can say that this work isn't possible without a strong, supportive network. There are many people to say THANKS to specifically, but let me say today (on #ValentinesDay) that my heart swells whenever I think of the support that's flowed my way this year. Today, may each of us feel a little more love flowing in our directions, a little more love filling up our reservoirs and making possible the work we're each called to do. Truly, you are loved. I send love. <3
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[Image description: This Valentine's Day card is primarily yellow and blue with pink-red flowers lining the bottom. It reads \"you are loved\" in large script, followed by \"Happy Valentine's Day\" in all-caps. Below that is the message, repeated in script: \"Thanks for your support this year! With love, Beth (Heart-Head-Hands.com).\"] .
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#supportwomen #gratitude #lovenothate #love #valentinesday2018 #valentines #grateful #gratitude #loveyou #instalove #lovenote #veganblogger #bloggerlife #bloggersofinstagram #womanownedbusiness #womanowned #womanownedbiz #youareloved #youarelove #thankyou #support #supportivefriends #supportnetwork #sendinglove")
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